Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
