I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You made out with two different species that night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
