like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
