I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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