just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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