dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
