may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
