I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
