thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
