She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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