i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
