So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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