Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
