WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
