is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have demons in me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
