shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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