just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
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hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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