just tell him i said nine months
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
