PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
