He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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