I feel like abortions should bother me more
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Found the puke drawer
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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