Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they're like a gay fantastic four
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize