She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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