I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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