can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
