This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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