I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize