Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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