Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
