I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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