Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
