PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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