His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
