Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
