I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You can't special order awesome
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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