We got so high we made milksteak
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
