everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
