Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.