A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.