yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep