It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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