Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love having hate sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
