Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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