Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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