my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
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SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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