please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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