my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
