Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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