Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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