he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
