So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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