i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
