A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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