Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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