You work out of a Hotel?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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