I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
