They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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